In the dark month of January, my fellow Master-Glass artists and I will light up the concrete silo’s of the Noordkade. Our exhibition: LED – Lightness and Darkness will show more than 20 glass artworks on light-panels. A beautiful start of the Year of Glass.
Lights off because of lockdown
I wanted to proudly present this unique exhibition at the Compagnie. It was supposed to look like the rendered image below. The vernissage would take place at januari 9th 2022. It had already been postponed for a year. And now, so close to the opening, the lights go off because of the lockdown. At the time I write this, I don’t know when we are going to open. I still have good hope it will be this winter. I’ll keep you up-to-date!
Perfectionism and Anxiety
These are the two theme’s of the three works I am planning to exhibit. Perfectionism and Anxiety dominate my life. For years I was convinced that these traits would help me become the Best Me. Perfectionism helped me work at the top of my capabilities and when it wasn’t good enough, at least I would be prepared for harsh, deserved criticism and rejection. Anxiety ensured me that I shouldn’t start anything that could lead to rejection or failure. Real architects and artists don’t make mistakes, do they? Perfectionism and Anxiety did not block me, but they pulled me back. Continuously thinking that you aren’t good enough yet, that everybody is better, that you have to keep practicing, limit your progress. You keep waiting until the time comes that you do meet up to your expectations. I would like to say that I have overcome these problems. But if I am honest, it’s not true. Wanting to overcome my problems is also a perfectionistic desire I have. It’ll probably never completely disappear. But I will go on.
Imperfect Djeneba and Imperfect Alice
These two projects challenged my perfectionism quite a bit. People sometimes tell me, that I should make projects of pretty women. People like to buy these kinds of portraits, because they are easy on the eyes and not very complex. I just don’t enjoy making them. These women might be pretty, but the are rarely uncomplicated. Behind the pretty picture is a real person: colorful but complex, irrational and imperfect. Maybe she is a horrible tyrant? Who are Djeneba and Alice, really? I would love to capture all that in one portrait.
Trying to Fit
My whole life I feel like everybody belongs, has their own group, where they fit in perfectly. And my whole life I have been looking for my group, but I can’t find them. As a teenager I tried to buy different clothes to match my classmates and as an architect I nagged about any kind of decoration on a contemporary building. I don’t seem to fit the ever-loved eccentric artists (way to down-to-earth and boring for that), but I don’t fit the soccer-moms either (we are not into team-sports). The past years I have tried and tried to squeeze myself into these groups, afraid of being alone and unsafe on my own. Now I am tired, but I fear, that when I step out, I won’t be able to stand up. I will be cramped and hunch-backed forever, having lost my natural form.